I like to think that all those pills you took
you were holding in your stomach so that they may one day become pearls.
And one day we’ll dig you up
and make them into a necklace for your daughter
so that their toxicity will counter her beauty
and boys will know not to hurt her
We used to plan our sex
like it was a chore
that we had to make sure to do once a week
or else our hearts would become covered in dust
and our affections would wilt like decaying flowers.
Instead of leaving inside me pools of white ecstasy,
you left oceans of self-hatred
and seas of depression
so that I too could drown.
I like to think in that instant you would fall in love with me
but I think we both forgot what love was
long before we met.